The Push and Pull of BPD

Push and pull. It's like the classic children's game tug of war; a rope being pulled in both directions and at any time it could go one way or another, unfortunately it is my illness and not a game at all. BPD...Borderline Personality Disorder. The words themselves fill your mind with uncertainty, for me, visualize into … Continue reading The Push and Pull of BPD

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Until We Meet Again…

If you knew the words you said to someone were going to be the last, how would you prepare? Would you say all the things you wished you could have but never did? Would words fail you at the precise time you needed them most? I had 6 full years before and 25 after, and I … Continue reading Until We Meet Again…

Loss of Innocence..Chapter 2: The Garage

To this day, I still can’t walk into a mechanics shop or a garage where a car has been parked or worked on without the memory of scent triggering these events. The smell of a old rag with oil on it sends a chill up my spine, so much so I just got one merely … Continue reading Loss of Innocence..Chapter 2: The Garage

The Loss of Innocence…Part 1

WARNING... GRAPHIC DETAILS OF SEXUAL ABUSE.... Chapter 1: The Couch I was 5 the first time I remember being molested. Funny how I can’t recall learning to ride a bike, but remember that day as clear as yesterday. It was sometime in the summer, as I recall as I was outside playing in shorts and a t-shirt. This … Continue reading The Loss of Innocence…Part 1

Suicide: An Insiders Perspective

Suicide. The word itself is stigmatized with weakness, and shame. We judge people who kill themselves as being selfish, people who just gave up. I mean really, what could be so wrong in ones life to drive you to actually end it? Suicide leaves a lot of unanswered questions for the survivors...the loved ones who … Continue reading Suicide: An Insiders Perspective

To: A Child Abuser: From: A Survivor

Dear Child Abuser, First off, I want you to know that I survived. You may have broken me, but you did not shatter me completely. Secondly, please know that I realize that you too, suffer from a mental illness. I realize your actions are likely a response to the trauma you have suffered, likely as … Continue reading To: A Child Abuser: From: A Survivor

A Bit About Me

I am a survivor, above all else. Life doesn't always turn out as we planned, start out how we wished, or follow the course we wish it had, but we have no option but to carry on. We trod down the road not always choosing the right path, often led  blindly by the traumas of … Continue reading A Bit About Me