What Depression Exhaustion Feels Like

blog im tired


At some point, all people get tired. Sometimes it is a physically tired body that is run down and overworked and requires some rest to heal itself, other times it is an overwhelmed mind that needs some rest to clear out and organize thoughts. Often it’s a combination of both that drives us to exhaustion and forces us to slow it down a bit, and take some time to rest. There’s that tired where you can’t stop yawning, the one that nothing will cure but a good night’s sleep, and there’s a tired from actually sleeping too much, and then there is a tired that comes with depression and other mental illnesses. That feeling of being tired from dealing with a mental health issue is difficult to explain to someone who has never felt that.

 It is not something you can empathize or sympathize with, because in your mind there is no reason I should be so exhausted. After all, I am off work right now and have no set agenda, so much of my day is spent “resting”, therefore how could I be so tired. You might even be thinking that if I got off my ass and started doing more during the day or perhaps even did some exercise, that might alleviate the feeling of being so wiped out. Perhaps a routine during the day or a more regular sleep schedule would solve the problem, or maybe add a nap. You mean well with your suggestions and ideas and I appreciate the effort, but this kind of tired can’t be solved by any of the above.

This type of tired is like a constant state of exhaustion that riddles your body from head to toe. It is not a have a few cups of coffee and perk up kind of tired. It starts from the mental exhaustion that is from the daily wars that you fight inside your head from whatever mental health issue you are battling. It affects your emotions causing hypersensitivity to complete numbness and running the emotional gamut in between and having to constantly explain or justify it, believe it or not, is, in itself tiring. This type of tired makes you feel weak and vulnerable whether it is a reality or not. It makes every decision ten times harder to make and often means not being able to think clearly and focus or forgetting the simple things that before, you would have remembered.

For me, depression tired means my legs ache and every step feels like I am carrying a ball and chain, leaving me to wonder how I could possibly get from point A to point B. This fatigue creeps up my body sitting heavily in my stomach and tying it in knots before working its way up, making my neck and shoulders ache to the point of not wanting to lift my arms or hold my head up. The thoughts in my mind are rapid and unrelenting and my brain is tired from trying to slow them down, and in some way organize and process them. It means spontaneously bursting into tears for no apparent reason with no apparent trigger. It means feeling tired when I wake no matter what the quality and quantity of sleep is. It means having to summons strength from somewhere within my already drained body to get basic things done leaving me at a point of exhaustion that simply cannot be described.

My soul is tired.

I don’t expect to ever be my old self again but I would like to have some energy back. Depression has drained enough from me already.






2 thoughts on “What Depression Exhaustion Feels Like

  1. I can totally relate to this tiredness. It’s been 8 years since I got Major Depressive Disorder, and although I was on trazodone, escitalopram and milnacipran for 2 years, they never cured my depression. For the next 6 years (from 2012 till now) I forced myself to endure this without medication, hoping that in time things will get better.

    Although I regained some of my old functions, like a clearer mind, a better control over my tears (too much actually, in the sense that I can’t cry anymore, although sometimes I really want to do it) and getting rid of the fear of living alone (most of my folks died over these years), I was always having this tiredness (call it fatigue, exhaustion or whatever you like) that never got away. It consumes and sabotages my whole being. It prohibits me to LIVE, to BE, to FEEL the good things in life.

    It feels like I have been sentenced to an ultra-high security prison, far worse than Alcatraz. I can never go out and the prospect of ever being free again is dying every day. This week, I should get to my psychiatrist and hope she’ll give me some meds to lift me up, at least enough to regain my short-term memory, focus abilities and motivation – all profoundly hit by this horrible disorder.

    I’m sorry for all that have to put up with this and can’t imagine WHY does such a cruel thing even exists in the world. After 8 years with it, I find terminal cancer a more proper way to ruin a man’s life (if this is some sort of punishment for something we did).


  2. Jody Jody Jody.’
    I can totally resonate with this. I drink a LOT of coffee and have been known to take stimulants in the form of energy drinks!
    I can resonate with your point on leg tiredness and especially difficulty “holding my head up” tiredness. The Tiredness is savage at times. I’m told we have medical science advancing and that I (I, you, we) won’t be left with tiredness long term!!
    I really hope that there are days with less tiredness soon for you Jody and we have this day where medicine understands mental health tiredness, because I do my friend


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