Will I Ever Know Who I Am?

    I don’t like mirrors. I avoid them whenever I can. It’s not just the fact I am insecure about how I look, it’s more that I catch myself staring intently, looking for any speck of what used to be me; the me that used to have friends; the me that used to be … Continue reading Will I Ever Know Who I Am?

My Journey with Suicide…a book excerpt

I was eight years old the first time I tried to kill myself. I was already in an unbearable amount of emotional pain from being bounced around the foster care system, being physically and sexually abused, and neglected for the first 18 months of my life. Even after I was adopted I still found myself … Continue reading My Journey with Suicide…a book excerpt

Why Did I Freeze

  Trauma comes in a multitude of types, forms, variances and degrees. No one person’s trauma can be experienced the same as another’s, nor can it be compared. The biology of our bodies react the same, prompting us to prepare for danger through fight, flight or freeze, but our emotional responses, however similar they may … Continue reading Why Did I Freeze

The Darkness of Night

Trigger Warning...   The night sky was dark and cloudy; the streetlights shining a dim glare on the sidewalk and the road beside me. It is late. Only two cars pass me on my walk, their bright headlights shining upon me for a brief moment in time. I am numb. I can no longer feel … Continue reading The Darkness of Night

The Stigma of Mental Health

The statistics are eye opening.  One in three girls and one in six boys will experience some form of severe trauma during their childhood which, in most cases,  may be the precursor to the one in three that will be affected by mental illness. There was a time, not too long ago, when not only … Continue reading The Stigma of Mental Health

The Complex Fear of Losing Your Therapist

  I was 8 when I saw my first therapist. She was a social worker and had been assigned to me to find out if I had purposefully or accidentally taken the bottle of my Grandma’s blood pressure medication. I remember her fidgeting with a pencil the entire time she was questioning me about if … Continue reading The Complex Fear of Losing Your Therapist

A Sincere Thank You for Your Words

   I had my breakdown almost three years ago now. I was severely depressed and dealing with both active and passive suicidal ideations and although I had started therapy, I soon learned that an hour of support a week was not going to cut it. I didn’t know what I would do all those nights … Continue reading A Sincere Thank You for Your Words