My Lack of a Blood Bond

    I always knew I was adopted. It wasn’t sprung upon me in my teenage years causing to question my upbringing, nor did I find some conclusive sheet of paper which would turn my life upside down. It simply was a subject that was open for discussion at any point in time. I was … Continue reading My Lack of a Blood Bond

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If You Have Survived the Next Five Years…

  I have been, to far more than my fair share of funerals in my lifetime, ranging from acquaintances and relatives, to friends and family. Without a doubt the hardest one was my Mom, not only because she was my only form of real love, but also because of the age she passed. It seems … Continue reading If You Have Survived the Next Five Years…

The Emotional Frenzy of the Snowball Effect

      It often starts off with the simplest of negative thoughts. Sometimes it is triggered by something someone has said that I may have misconstrued, which is easy to do with BPD and the lack of tone in text messaging, and at other times it is just my mind beginning its uncontrollable spiral … Continue reading The Emotional Frenzy of the Snowball Effect

The Challenge of Surrendering My Expectations

      I am not sure if I love my father. When he says those dreaded three words…”I love you”, it is as if the words are merely skimming the surface of my being, they become words with little meaning. When I do repeat it back to him, the words flow out habitually, feeling … Continue reading The Challenge of Surrendering My Expectations